As our parents age, we go through a process of learning and understanding. We learn how to handle their process and, in turn, we learn how to handle our own process. It can be a beautiful and enlightening experience if we stay open-minded and conscientious of the needs of our parents and our own needs. When we find ourselves getting overwhelmed and frustrated, remind yourself that they were once your age and they were the person that has been with you since the beginning of your existence. Remember, this person created you, taught you how to be you and, knew you better than you knew yourself for the first few years of your life. This is your opportunity to give that back to them. Also, taking care of your own needs is important too, being responsible for your own dignity is an experience that will allow you to care for your aging parent in a beautiful and magical way.
Letter from a Mother to a Daughter:
I love this beautiful letter about aging, love and the cycles of life.
“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the time when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.
When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.
And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.
When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love
I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”
Focus on your own dreams and accomplishments. My mom said once “Smart people worry about themselves and that jealous, rude people worry about others…” Everyone has their own path to accomplish, just follow it!
Being someone that is caring for their parents, is someone that has a heart of gold and is able to step outside of themselves and that is a characteristic to be proud of!
Thank you for your contribution to the planet!
